Rejection is God's Protection

Rejection hurts. I don’t care who you are - whether you deal with it on a daily basis, or deal with it every now and then, it hurts deep. Some people are better at dealing with rejection than others.

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I will raise my hand and say I know the pain of rejection. Rejection has come into my life through loved ones, coworkers, classmates, and neighbors.

What Does Rejection Look Like?

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In grade school, you were picked last
You didn’t make the team
You didn’t get your dream job
The person you like doesn’t like you back
You didn’t get into the school of your dreams
You got denied a scholarship
You got out-bid on the home of your dreams
A family member doesn’t want a relationship with you
A friend no longer wants your friendship
Your neighbor is unfriendly to you

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What Are the Impacts of Feeling Rejected?

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Emotional Impact: Rejection often triggers feelings of sadness, loneliness, and inadequacy. It can lead to a sense of being unworthy or unloved, which can be deeply distressing. These feelings might linger long after the initial event, affecting our self-esteem and overall mood.
Mental Strain: Rejection can cause a lot of mental strain. People might ruminate over the rejection, replaying the event and questioning what they could have done differently. This can lead to anxiety, stress, and even depression. The constant self-doubt and negative thinking patterns can be exhausting and difficult to break out of.
Social Impact: Experiencing rejection can make people more wary of social interactions, fearing future rejection. This can lead to social withdrawal and isolation, which can further exacerbate feelings of loneliness and depression.
Self-Esteem: Rejection can severely impact self-esteem. When we are rejected, we might internalize it as a reflection of our self-worth, thinking that if someone doesn’t want us, there must be something wrong with us. This can lead to a diminished sense of self-worth and confidence.
Physical Effects: The stress and emotional pain from rejection can also manifest physically. Symptoms such as fatigue, headaches, and changes in appetite or sleep patterns are common when dealing with emotional distress.

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How to Reframe Rejection

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When you have faced rejection, the easiest way to deal with it is to reframe it. Don’t try to overanalyze why you got rejected. A simple verse I whisper to myself is from Proverbs 3:5 which says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;” I don’t know why I may have been rejected, but it makes no use for me to try to lean on my own understanding, because I am not all-knowing! And thank God for that! Haha. Another way to reframe rejection is simply saying that rejection is God’s protection.

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Perspective is everything. It is easy to give so much more power to the person/situation that is causing rejection. For example, if you didn’t get the job that you wanted, it is easy to think that the company only hires the best of the best, and if you weren’t selected, there is something wrong with you. In reality, the company can’t hire everyone they interview. Yes companies do sometimes hire a candidate less qualified or a candidate that ends up being a flop in the end. Knowing that God says His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9), and that man chooses his path but God directs his steps (Proverbs 16:9) is a comforting thought. God's timing is best. Perhaps the job you thought you wanted would be a bad life move. God could be sparing you. God wants to bless us, and if we aren’t getting the job we wanted, it means there is something else in store for us. We just have to trust His calling.

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Rest in Jesus Who Will Never Reject Us

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The greatest encouragement I find when facing rejection is that our loving Savior, Jesus Christ understands our pain. Not only does Jesus know our pain, but He has also experienced it, and still experiences rejection to this day. I find great comfort in knowing that I am a beloved child of God, and no matter my failures, no matter if I am rejected here on earth, that does not change the fact that I am worthy and I am loved. A beautiful passage in Psalms 139:13-14 says, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

All because of our Heavenly Father, the Creator of Heaven and Earth – We are whole in Jesus. We are fully known and fully loved by God. Since we live here in the present, and all we have ever known is this side of Heaven, it is hard to separate ourselves from feelings of unworthiness and rejection.

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In Psalms 94:14 it says, “For the LORD will not reject his people; he will never forsake his inheritance.” We need to cling to this truth that God will never forsake us. Additionally, in Deuteronomy 31:6-8 Moses is telling the Israelites, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”Then Moses summoned Joshua and said to him in the presence of all Israel, “Be strong and courageous, for you must go with this people into the land that the Lord swore to their ancestors to give them, and you must divide it among them as their inheritance. ⁸The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” I like that Moses says this not once, but twice to really sink in with the Israelites.

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Facing Rejection Head-on

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Sometimes after experiencing rejection, I want to get rid of that feeling immediately. It is as if a sad cloud is following me around. I desperately crave validation or want to feel, well, not rejected. Unfortunately, acting as if rejection doesn’t bother me, doesn’t make the hurt go away. This is the time for me to be raw with my emotions. To take time to reflect and understand that I am hurting, and only my precious Savior can heal my pain. I go to Him in prayer and tell him about the hurt I have experienced, and ask Him for strength in my weakness. Sometimes in dark times, getting out of the house and being in nature alone with God can do wonders. I remember years ago when I was single, I drove down to the beach, sat on the sand dunes and poured my heart out to God. It really is cathartic.

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We can face rejection head-on by asking our Lord to comfort us. We can praise Him that He will never leave us or forsake us. We can ask God to show us if he is protecting us from something. I love the verse in Psalm 84:11 where it says “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord will give grace and glory; No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” He is faithful, and he will not withhold any good thing (job, relationship, etc.) from those who are faithful to Him.

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Remember, rejection is a common part of life and it is not a reflection of your value or worth. You are a child of the MOST high King! God loves you!