What I Learned In Our First Year Of Marriage

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As we are reached our first year of marriage on 10.26.2020, I wanted to document what I have learned along the way. It has been an amazing journey! I’d love to share with you some tidbits from our first year of marriage. Perhaps it could help someone else who is getting married.

What I Learned In Our First Year Of Marriage

Prioritize Date Night

I loved getting off work to go on a date with B before we were married. A tip we got when we got married was to make time for date night. It can be so easy to go weeks or months without taking the time for quality time. It has been harder to do date nights due to COVID-19, but it is possible to have date nights, you just have to get creative. In marriage, date nights are important to keep stress down and just enjoy life. Why stop dating your spouse?

Name Change is a Long Process

My sister-in-law Candace told me about HitchSwitch, a company that helps the organizational side of changing your name. It definitely helped having a guiding hand to help me with the name change process. Once I got the main documents out of the way-my I.D, my social security card, credit cards and bank, as well as some smaller things like social media, I thought I was good to go. Wrong! You don’t realize how much your maiden name was out there until random stuff pops up-subscriptions, email addresses, loyalty programs, mobile apps, birthday signups, cell phone account, etc…  I would say it takes about 6 months to a year to get everything switched over to your married name. Aren’t the men lucky they don’t have to go through this? haha!

We Don’t Need A Television

As newly weds, we started from scratch, we didn’t have a ton of stuff. We received wonderful wedding gifts, but a T.V. wasn’t on our registry. 😉 We thought after a bit-hey, let’s try and go our first year of marriage without a television. I don’t think either one of us has once said “I can’t take this anymore, we need a T.V.!” I know the first few months we were married, I was so busy with work and our home, I didn’t have time to watch T.V. We do have Amazon Prime on my laptop and if we do want to watch something, there is usually a good movie or show available. Watching T.V. is one of those mindless time suckers where it’s not really quality time with your spouse at all. One day we probably will get a T.V, but for now, I do not mind going without.

Meal Prep and Juicing is the Way to Go!

Ok, this isn’t necessarily a reflection on marriage, but I had to throw it in here! My husband and I both work full time, and we don’t always have the time on work days to make a meal from scratch. We also don’t like to make a habit of going out to eat because it hits our bellies and bank accounts. Meal prepping and juicing is so easy and we have meals ready to go for breakfast and lunch for the next few days.

Praying Together is A Must

Life is hard. Emotions and feelings are real, and as a woman hormones don’t help any of that. Prayer has been so beneficial in our relationship. It is a great way to keep Christ centered in our marriage. The benefit of marriage is that when you pray together, you can’t stay upset at each other. Prayer is such a great lifeline. When we are confused or concerned about something, often we say “let’s pray about this now!” and it helps alleviate the anxiety we have. In my post, The Beauty of Marriage, I mention that couples who pray together daily have less than a 1% chance of divorce. Prayer is an incredible marriage bond, and I know the Lord honors couples that pray together.

Let My Husband Handle the Thorns and the Thistles

My mom gave me this piece of advice. Let your husband handle the thorns and the thistles. I have no problem coordinating something, researching and hiring contractors for our home, etc. (Is there a name for that other than adulting? lol) Our vacuum stopped functioning properly. Our vacuum was covered under warranty, so Bissell recommended a vacuum repair shop near us (that ended up being shady, thanks a lot Bissell) I took it in and they were trying to charge me. After multiple phone calls and waiting over a month for our vacuum, I asked my husband to step in. He sent the owner of the vacuum shop a cordial email on my behalf, and the next day the owner called me back saying he would not charge us and Bissell would cover the charge. (I’m thinking thank God-but this should have happened all along). 😤

This of course  was a generic light example of “thorns and thistles”. However, I am grateful for a husband who is emotionally stronger than me and support me in situations that are overwhelming.

Be Patient with In-Law Relationships

Everything I’ve read regarding in laws is that good relationships don’t happen overnight. I already knew going into marriage it would not be easy. I did have some good advice in our pre-marriage counseling to help. Also finding in-law relationship books on Amazon is helpful as well. Some relationships in life come quick and easy, and some are fostered slowly. I think what has helped me the most is to remember that pleasing my husband comes first-that is what God commands of me. It can be too burdensome worrying about pleasing all of my in laws. As long as I treat them with love and respect, I know the Lord is pleased.

Special thanks to my bro Matt for taking our 1 yr anniversary pictures! 

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